I am an Atheist and no one in my family knows. Now after reading that first sentence one might think this post will be about my struggle with quote un-quote living a lie. Well you would be wrong and a bit right. Now I am an Atheist not because something tragic happen in my youth thus making me hate god. I became an Atheist because I was once upon a time a believer. Since as long as I can remember I would go to my Baptist church with my mother. (Now just so you know I was raised by my mom and dad but my father always worked on Sundays so he never came. Also I do not even know if he actually believes or not and frankly do not care. We have an odd relationship my father and me.) An every Sunday we would go to Sunday school and I would learn the day’s lesson and try to be a good person. I also went to a Catholic elementary school then to Jesuit High School. Now for the longest time I really just followed along with what everyone else was doing. I would say the prayers but not partake in communion since I was not Catholic. It was not till high school when I took a world religions class were I started to doubt.
In this class we went over the some of the major religions like Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Scientology(I do not even consider this a legitimate religion) to name a few. Now over all these religions seemed to all think that they had the right way to reach eternal peace. But the problem that I saw over the years was that people like to interpret the meanings of each these religions sometimes for good and sometimes for greed. For example lets look at eh Mega Churches of the U.S. These structures are huge with very large congregations that donate a lot to the church. The church in turns pays its people very well while at the same time are tax exempt. Now I would be more ok with this if more of their tax free money went to helping those in need instead of making motivational/gospel videos that are sold back to the congregation. Now another example is the infamous Westboro Baptist Church. They are known for there radical thinking on gays and the wars in Iraq/Afghanistan. They like to think that there way of doing things is right and everyone else is wrong. Now if you missed my point, or I did not convey it clearly, I strongly dislike religion because it is used to control others. It gives a few people an overwhelming amount of power over so many. But worst than that it get people to stop thinking for themselves.
Now this is where I say god does not exist. An I say that because if god was real he would not allow there to be so many versions of his/her book. If god was really all-knowing he/she would know we would fuck things up but instead of writing the Bible his/her self it let humans do it. And over time the Bible has been translated, edited , revived multiple multiple times. Now I do not have an exact answer but a rough estimate would be a shit ton of copies. An based off of that how am I supposed to know which one is right. So in stead of believing in god I will believe in myself , logic, and science.
I believe in my self cause I know myself petty well but always learn something new thus expanding my knowledge. I believe in logic because it works time and time again. I believe in science because it uses facts , experiments and peer review before it decides if something is true or not. An in the event it finds out it was wrong it will change its stance based on the facts. Now in religions defense it changes in its practices but tends to take decades to do that. Or someone just creates a new sect to do their own thing. But in all reality I rather follow my on conscience instead of living in fear that what I do may or may not anger someone or thing with a mass amount of power cares for what I do.
Now back to my original sentence “I am an Atheist an no one in my family knows.” No one in my family knows this fun fact about me because of several reasons. The biggest is that I still live with my parents and have no job(though I continually try to get one to get out). An to drop that little bomb shell on my mother would just make things really awkward to live with her. The second is fear. Fear that I tell them they will reject me and pretend that I am dead. Now knowing my family I doubt it would go to that extreme but there would be a lot of disappoint going around. An I rather be on my own so I would not just get the constant look of disapproval. Though I do not know how everyone would respond but I would make sure to tell them that this is not a phase and that they did not fail in raising me. That is simple is my life and I want to live it my way and to try to accept it. Hopefully they would understand sooner than later.
[Disclaimer: I will try an not to make future post this long and will not touch on religion unless asked or I find something interesting.]